Season 5, Episode 22
We All Fall Down
And here we are. The very last episode of 90210. Ever. Between the original series and this absurd spin-off, a version of this show has been on the air “4ever”—which is exactly what the one-hour retrospective was called. It is safe for me to say that I have watched every single hour of both series; and the thing that made this spin-off work was that very early on it forgot it was a spin-off and became its own show. A ridiculous show, sure, but it knew what it was…and that made it fun. Plus, I want to thank the writers for giving me something to blog about every week—I have immensely enjoyed this opportunity be a snarky fan.
Just some quick comments on the hour-long retrospective + cast interviews that aired before the series finale: the cast and creative team told us, “we hope you were entertained.” I just want to say….heck yeah we were. It is not many shows that have their leading lady kill a homeless man in a hit-n-run, become a hooker, writer a dirty tell-all book, and still have her rock designer labels. Also, their comment that “by the second year of the show they got to be different because people stopped comparing them to the original series”…ummm yeah that is because we all quickly realized you were not even close to the quality of Beverly Hills 90210. But that’s OK, you were…you…and we loved you. Lastly, for the first time I happened to notice a producer credit I had never seen before…apparently Scott Weinger has been a 90210 producer for quite some time. In case you don’t recognize the name, how about I jog your memory: DJ Tanner’s boyfriend on Full House, or the voice of Aladdin. That’s right…apparently he has been a producer all this time. As Michelle Tanner would say, awwwww nuts—now I am really bummed this show is off the air. I love a good 90s TV connection!
And now on to my final 90210 recap! Deep breaths…
Damsel in distress. As crowds race away from the club, Annie, Dixon and Navid quickly realize that Ade is still trapped inside. Such a shocker considering she was standing right on the stage when everything collapsed. Word quickly spreads to the gang that one of their own is missing and—after some wardrobe changes (priorities people!)—everyone makes their way over to the danger zone. While most get busy setting up a hospitality suite triage center, Navid completely disobeys the first responders and strolls on into the building to find his beloved. He finds her super quickly and rushes under the fake debris to keep Ade company since her foot is trapped. Fortunately he did have the sense to bring his cell phone, so he is able to call his friends and alert the authorities. For once, one of this show’s product placements could have been helpful, since that cell phone service was impressive! The couple is told to stay put, as moving might cause a secondary collapse. That gives them just enough time to make out and decide that they belong together, like 4ever. Once they are finally rescued, they ride off into the sunset together, in an ambulance.
Such a relief. Naomi has difficulty sitting still. But she has even more trouble not doing something that gets her attention. So, in order to try to win back good PR vibes after taking the fall on the Japanese prince scandal, Naomi organizes the world’s fastest relief benefit concert. I mean seriously, she has thrown some quick parties before, but a charity concert with the Goo Goo Dolls in 3 hours flat is downright impressive. The girl should get some kind of entrepreneur award! And also, getting T-shirts made that fast is nothing to sneeze at. Her self-serving good deed almost backfires when, ironically, her relief concert actually blocks a rescue crew from stopping a gas leak temporarily. But things work out, yada yada. And Naomi is rewarded in unexpected ways: the sale of her prince-scandal news story actually convinces the young Japanese partier to get help in rehab, and now she is popular with the emperor. Jordan’s mother can no longer stand in the way of her son rushing into a relationship with Naomi…a girl who gets through life by winging it. And that is why we shall miss our favorite shallow-yet-sweet ringleader. Keep on throwing ridiculous parties, dressing in absurd costumes and being as self-focused as you are Naomi—it suits you well!
You have a right, to fight, to paaaartaaaay. Silver was a jerk for most of this season. But man does she get crapped on in these final few episodes. First her surrogate Michaela lost the baby last week, and now this week she gets confirmation from her doctor that she does have cancer. Was this really necessary, writers? Plus, she has to act in an awkward random scene with Michael Jackson’s son, Prince, who plays a survivor of the explosion. I am not even sure what Silver was planning on doing by stealing some pills from the ambulance…were they magic pills? Or was she just going to OD because of how awful her storyline was this final year? Either way, a pep talk from buddy Dixon convinces her that life is one challenge after another, and she just needs to keep fighting. Silver decides she is going to have surgery and fight cancer, and it looks like at least one friend (Dixon) will be there to support her. And, since Silver made up with Ade via cell phone while the later was still trapped, she can probably count on Ade as well…when Ade is not busy with her dogs, fireplace and Navid.
Happily ever after for dummies. Even though every character has hooked up with literally every other character, most of us have held a special place in our hearts for Annie and Liam. For me, this is because those two have equal intelligence, or lack thereof. Separately, their stupidity is annoying, but together it is almost charming. Neither one can admit to the other that they still have feelings. It takes literally every other character to push them in the right direction before it is too late (i.e. each of them moving across the globe for a fresh start). Might I just say here that I would HATE to be the travel agent for this group. Finally, surfer stepmom Sydney can’t even stand it and literally shoves Annie’s book into Liam’s hands, telling him to read the end. Apparently the end is quite a happily every after, with “Leo” rescuing “Annabel” on his motorcycle. So Liam jumps on his bike and races down the runway, barely catching the private plane. He proposes to Annie, she says yes, and the gang rejoices via cell phone text messages.
In closing, I may rag on these writers (a lot) but I know in my 90210-heart that this finale was just no where near up to their best level. And I realize that is because they were not notified that they were cancelled until they were about to shoot this episode. Most of the cast has given interviews about how bummed they were with the hasty wrap-up and quickly re-written finale in an attempt to close the series at the last minute. I have to say—when this cast complains about the crappy writing, you know it is a legit concern. I wish this episode had not felt so rushed and random (more so than usual), but we will always have memories of better times.
Thanks for following me on this 90210 journey.