Season 5, Episode 15
Oh 90210. How you continue to amaze me. From sex fantasies to brother-sister flirtiness, there is always something fun happening for these obnoxiously wealthy and self-absorbed kids. Speaking of fantasies, here is a fantasy pop culture question: which group of friends is able to start businesses faster—Zack Morris and his Saved by the Bell buddies (Buddy-Bands anyone?) or Liam Court and his 90210 gang? SBTB held this title for a few decades, but I think it is time to pass the crown to 90210. Almost every single character dealt with their budding careers tonight, all of which popped up overnight and are based on no actual skill.
Brotherly love. Naomi is still desperate to forge a strong bond with her newly discovered half-bro, Mark. I still find it odd that Annie is also his biological half-sister but doesn’t really care to learn more. Last week Naomi and Mark decided to open a restaurant together—since Mark is a chef—and what do you know?! This week they are ready to open! Jeezus, that must be some kind of record for a restaurant opening. I guess it does help to have a mostly ready nightclub/bar you can immediately take over…wait, what? Did I miss something with the former Offshore no longer being turned into a club by Navid? I am so confused over who owns this place or how many times it has been re-purposed this season, but apparently now it is Naomi and Mark’s restaurant. Naomi also gets a little confused, but over the nature of their “opening” this week. She invites 100 people to a grand opening when in fact they were only ready to have a soft open for their family and friends. Oops. Things get a little crazed in the kitchen and Mark and Naomi have a blow up. And then Naomi literally blows up—from an allergic reaction that Mark is able to help with thanks to an EpiPen. The two eventually have a heart-to-heart and bond over their shared allergy, and their love always wanting the best.
Court of appeal-ing. Annie is having sex fantasies of her roomie/ex-boyfriend Liam Court. It doesn’t help that the budding “anonymous” author is also working on her “erotic adventure novel” (yes, those were the publisher’s exact words) featuring star-crossed lovers-turned-roommates “Annabel and Leo.” The publisher thinks Annie’s writing is stunning; I think Annie’s unoriginality is the only thing stunning about it. The only edit that the publisher requests is that Annie create a happily ever after ending for Annabel and Leo, but real-life Annie balks at this because it is too difficult to make things with Liam work again. Honestly, I don’t even know how the actress who played the publisher was even able to keep a straight face while expressing her love and amazement of such writing. Meanwhile, Liam is in a real funk over his life’s purpose. I guess when he doesn’t have a crazy girl stalking him or kidnapping him, life can be kinda boring. He gives micro-brewing a brief try because, hey, he thinks it is cool and he just so happens to have all the supplies. But the beer, “Court of Appeal,” turns out like crap…except for the fact that it gets him super wasted. He and Annie almost have a moment but Liam passes out instead and Annie goes on to write an amazing ending for her fake characters that apparently involves a ride into the sunset on “Leo’s” motorcycle. Yeah, super original. And sober Liam wakes up to a new career passion: custom surfboards.
Dream on. Dixon, Michaela, Silver and Ade also deal with their dream careers. And once again I would love to have the start-up capital that these kids have. Somehow Naomi can open a restaurant in a week, but Silver and Ade can’t even decide what to do with their truck in that amount of time other than maybe fill it with monkeys. On the other hand, Dixon has always known he wants to be a music producer but desperately needs a new artist to sign to his label. Silver’s surrogate Michaela could be just the girl—but she wants to check with Silver first out of respect for the potential baby situation. Ummm how about Silver just get a different girl to be surrogate? Michaela isn’t even pregnant yet and Silver has the money. Just pick another girl to pay. But then we wouldn’t get the drama of Michaela pursuing a musical career while potentially carrying Silver’s baby. Dixon helps Silver and Ade come up with the idea to do a documentary truck, but doesn’t have a chance to tell Silver about Michaela. Silver gets pissed, for the millionth time this season, but then Dixon has an idea for them all: Silver should direct a music video of Michaela for Dixon!
Girls on the side. In the season’s stupidest story line (which is really saying something) Navid tries to keep his society leader, Campbell, happy by agreeing to occupy his fiancé. Navid ends up liking this girl, Sonia, and realizes what a jerk Campbell is (took you this long, huh?). He arranges for Sonia to discover that Campbell is cheating on her. Navid finally decides that he wants out of the society, but now he is on Campbell’s bad side. And we care because…?