90210 Recap – Here Comes Honey Bye Bye

 

Season 5, Episode 12
Here Comes Honey Bye Bye

How am I supposed to come up with snarky, pop-culturally relevant subtitles for my blog post when the writers of 90210 are using the same method to name their episodes? “Here Comes Honey Bye Bye” dealt with saying goodbye and loss. And, a toddler pageant and boxing ring thrown in for good measure.

  • Toddlers and Tiaras. Naomi and Max attempt to save their marriage by going to counseling. Naomi is very quickly told that she needs to spend some time focusing on her own development rather than only Max. There is no better way to do that in Beverly Hills than host a toddler beauty pageant. But seriously, Naomi realizes that she has not planned a party in, like, ages. So of course she enlists her “talented” friends Silver and Ade to help work the event. In the process, Naomi rediscovers her love of event planning and wonders how her career could have progressed had she not turned down that NYC job from Rachel. Both she and Max express that they have each sacrificed their own identities for their marriage, causing their childish fights of late. The episode ended as Max bid farewell to his princess, Naomi, by gifting her with a tiara. We shall miss our resident nerd.
  • Financial Ade. Adrianna and Dixon are still in a tense stand-off regarding her contract at his new record label. She can’t get out of it and he is making her work it off. These two exes don’t see eye to eye on much, but then Dixon’s new girlfriend Megan is forced to step in and manage Ade’s performance at the toddler pageant. Megan actually proves to be a shrewd manager and gets Ade a big paycheck—plus earns some serious respect. Just as the two girls seem to be clicking, Ade learns that the money she has worked for and pumped into her debt at the record label has been used by Dixon to fund a secret scholarship for Megan—who did NOT want his help. Now both girls are super pissed at Dixon over some serious money matters. I mean, just imagine the ‘horror’ if Megan would have to move back to the perpetually sunny beachside city of San Diego, located a mere two hours from L.A.
  • Embry-NO. Silver tries to work things out with Teddy, but let’s get real: she totally F-ed things up. Teddy refuses to budge on his court order to destroy the embryos until Navid does his first useful thing all season—tell Teddy that these two embryos are literally Silver’s only chance of having a child. Yes, apparently Silver is not allowed to undergo another round of IVF due to potential danger, so this is really her only chance to have a biological child. With this news, Teddy reluctantly comes around, telling Silver he will not destroy the embryos. But he makes it very clear he is still plenty pissed and wishes to see her as little as possible. Silver shows up at the lawyer’s office and learns the final aspect of the deal: Teddy is requiring that a third party surrogate carry the baby, NOT Silver. Jeesh, I don’t think a television show has ever worked this hard to get a teen knocked up.
  • Fight Club. The award for stupidest new story line goes to Liam’s reaction to all the crazy ladies in his life. I guess getting messed with by two crazies—Vanessa and Ashley—and feeling guilty over Annie getting shot, Liam has turned to physical violence in the boxing ring to take out his aggression. It just so happens that Navid is trying to impress the West Coast version of “Skull and Bones” society to help him get into business school. Maybe Navid should have led with the fact that his dad was a well-known porn distributor. Anyways, the club boys are impressed with Liam’s “fight club” and welcome them into their fold. In related news: wait, so all of a sudden Navid wants to be in business school?
  • A Walk to Remember. Annie recovers remarkably fast from her shooting and all of a sudden remembers that she totes loves Riley. Apparently a flower bouquet goes a long way. But she quickly learns from Dixon that Riley is not on a ‘family vacation’ but is instead up in NorCal having that experimental spinal surgery…which Annie now feels guilty for encouraging. She has Dixon drive her up north to stop the surgery but it is too late: Riley already had it and is in recovery. Nonetheless he is happy to see her and the two declare their love. Annie returns home only to get a call that Riley died later that day from an unexpected blood clot. Maybe Annie will join Liam’s fight club to assuage her guilt.
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