Season 5, Episode 7
Tonight’s episode title, “99 Problems,” could potentially be a nod to it being the show’s 99th episode. I only know this because next week we will be treated to the series’ 100th episode—which is a truly horrifying thought. Regardless, I am rather surprised that last week’s episode wasn’t called 98 Degrees. Nah, that level of genius motif is far beyond the reaches of this show. This gang sure does have its share of rich kid problems, though!
Let me love you. Ade gets a chance to perform as the opening act for Ne-Yo at the Hollywood Bowl. I guess she isn’t having one of those “99 problems,” but those people in the audience likely are: Who the heck is Adrianne Tate-Duncan and why did I waste my money on this? – thinks every person at the Bowl. Dixon and crew are super proud of their Ade and excited to support her. Dixon wants to buy his woman a pricey gift to show his love and so he consults sister Annie for some advice. Naomi also arranges to have her pal, Neil Lane, swing by the mansion with some goodies. Then Dixon surprises even his sister by asking about engagement rings. Funnily enough, Annie tends to be the most level-headed (well, relatively speaking) when offering relationship advice to others because she wants Dixon to really consider whether he and Ade are ready for marriage (that answer would be Heck Ne-Yo). But Dixon seems pretty determined, and for all the wrong reasons. He got some potentially bad news from the doctor about his infection—it is possible he may need risky surgery—and thanks to Riley not sugar-coating a thing, the surgery sounds really scary with possible permanent paralysis. Fortunately, Dixon changes his tune after getting good test results from his doc and decides that while he and Ade are not ready for marriage, he does want to spend his life with her in love and business. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that Dixon casually asked Annie for a $200K loan to start his own record label? Yeah, that happened. So Dixon proposes that Ade sign as his first artist and gives her some diamond earrings. He should have gone to Jared’s.
Talk nerdy to me. Naomi is none too pleased that her hubby is too busy to come to bed. But thanks to Max having to kick Alec to the curb, his workload is even crazier now. Naomi convinces him to hire a replacement but that is easier said than done—how do you replace a best friend/business partner who served as your other half and inspired great ideas? Well, thankfully Naomi is the world’s fastest resume reader and quickly culls through a set of parchment papers a stack of resumes to find an awesome candidate named Bryce. He sounds too good to be true…but it turns out that he is a she. Bryce ends up being a total hottie who also ‘speaks nerd’ (i.e. a major threat to Naomi). Naomi puts the kibosh on her own idea and instead convinces Max to hire her. Actually, I must say that Max really should put Naomi to work being his company’s social director and official client schmoozer, because she truly does have a skill for that. And even though Naomi does what she does best, she eventually realizes that she cannot be her husband’s “everything.” As luck (and bad writing) would have it, Bryce happens to be at the Ne-Yo concert. Naomi conveniently tracks her down in the bathroom and offers her the job, maturely putting her own jealousies aside. I guess we shall see if Naomi’s fears and anxieties become reality.
I know what you did last summer. Liam’s accidental sex video has gone viral, but at least he has lots and lots of architecture floor plans he can pretend to brood over at the bar. Fortunately Navid was no where to be seen tonight—I guess he is licking his wounds somewhere with no friends, because he certainly wasn’t invited to the Bowl with everyone else. But if you were looking for someone who has “99 problems” in this episode, look no further…Liam is on a slippery slope with any number of concerns that makes his unwanted sex tape leak seem like child’s play (or Kardashian’s play, as Silver positively reminds him). He finds a nondescript typed note that essentially says “Where is Vanessa? I know what you did. You can run but you can’t hide.” Obviously this note puts Liam on edge. Yes! While I certainly don’t want an alive Vanessa to return, I do want this mysterious storyline to wrap up in a cool way. When Liam goes to accompany Silver to a doctor’s appointment, the paparazzi (all three of them) are just SO intense that Liam loses it when one says “you can run but you can’t hide.” Apparently Liam doesn’t know that even celebrities can’t just assault people. The police arrest him but he obviously makes bail. Back at the bar, a young and attractive female cop just so happens to show up to be his security detail. Liam totally buys her story that the studio sent her. Wow, maybe Liam really did need Vanessa as his business manager. Obviously something is really fishy here, but Liam has no clue and trusts this woman. Again, he has bigger worries right now. We learn in the very last scene that the cop, Ashley, may be just a tad obsessed with Liam since she takes his autographed photo (meant for her “niece”) to a tattoo parlor. I am looking forward to learning more about Ashley’s weird issues and Vanessa’s weird disappearance. I don’t think Liam has a lot to look forward to, though.
Teen mom. As Silver herself points out, most girls her age are trying really hard not to get pregnant—or at the very least film it for a reality show. But Silver is still adamant that she get pregnant now as her only chance. She is not having luck conceiving so she must prep her body for IVF treatments. According to super supportive pal Liam, “This sounds like the least fun way to get pregnant ever.” I am just thankful she seems to have moved on from that odd foray into exotic dancing. Anyways, Silver doesn’t recognize the signs of a dangerous side effect so it is Liam who saves her life and gets her to the hospital. Now she learns that her blood clots means that she has only this one chance at IVF.
50 shades of Riley. Annie officially starts dating Riley, but doesn’t catch on that he doesn’t like or appreciate being treated like a pathetic victim. It’s one thing to go a little too gung-ho on checking the handicap accessibility of everyplace they visit (even though Riley has been more than capable these past several years) but Riley eventually snaps when Annie just assumes that his hot ex-girlfriend was from a time period before his paralysis. Annie really proves to be the challenged one in this relationship, as she cannot possibly fathom why Riley is angry. She storms over to his apartment and finds him in the Melrose Place pool his apartment’s pool with a group of seductive young ladies. She slaps him for standing her up at the Bowl but this is actually what Riley wants from her: to be treated like any other man she would date. They make up by Riley tossing Annie in the pool.
What a busy night in 90210-land! And with that we eagerly await the 100th episode next week…