Season 5, Episode 3
It’s All Fun and Games
“It’s All Fun and Games” was an apt title for this third installment of 90210’s season five. It was lighter than the more dramatic first two episodes of the season, but these characters played some serious truth or dare games tonight. But first things first: the epic balcony fall to end all balcony falls from last week! As I mentioned, I had to rewind and watch Vanessa’s fall several times because it was so amusing. Apparently I was not the only one who found it to be hysterical, since Chelsea Handler made the clip her opening monologue the other night and asked in wonder, “who watches this show?!” Answer: Me, because it is sometimes funnier than an episode of Modern Family. And, because I do watch a lot of TV, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I witnessed yet another ‘tragic’ fall off a balcony during a heated conversation on this week’s episode of Revenge. All I can say is, FALL is officially here! (Lame joke, I know).
KIDS Inseminated K-I-D-S. Silver is preparing to make her ‘get preggo’ appointment at the doctor’s, so what better time for her gals to host a “Happy Insemination” party? You would think they were inviting the queen the way Naomi fussed over pastry placement on the serving dish—or at least that they were inviting people other than themselves—but in the world’s weirdest hybrid baby/bachelorette party, it was just the regulars: Naomi, Annie, Ade, and guest of honor Silver. Oh, and a fireman stripper. You see, Silver realizes that even though she wants to be a mom while she can still become pregnant, she is also terrified that she is still a kid herself. Furthermore, she now has very little time left to act all crazy and irresponsible. Don’t worry Silver—if any girl has the best group of friends ever who can help her complete one last checklist of idiotic things, it is you. Ade makes it her mission to get the crazy fun out of Silver’s system, but quickly determines that Silver really needs to conquer her fears. On 90210, that means the flying trapeze on the beach. Silver faces her fear of heights, but twists her ankle getting down. But that gives her a chance to have a totally random convo with a “friend” at the urgent care who already had her BRCA gene surgery. Silver finally realizes that having this baby will be scary no matter what, but it is a fear she wants. And she also wants professional naked photos of her body.
Surf dude with attitude. Dixon is California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day (well, metaphorically) since he is “still” stuck in his wheelchair. I for one am shocked that he even has a chance of regaining the ability to walk after that accident. What I do understand is how he would still be struggling to deal with the accident and not let that one moment dictate his life. Meanwhile, Annie wants Dixon to hurry up and have his breakthrough already and she pushes just a little too hard in all the wrong ways. Annie thinks that Riley’s tough love approach is not the solution, so she forces Dixon to go to a group therapy session after her plan to have him gab with Liam at a fun surf competition seems to backfire. In Dixon’s words, “Seriously have you met me and Liam?” Dixon reluctantly participates in the session until another girl in the group named Megan tells her tale of suffering. In the world’s most awkwardly convenient plot twist, it seems that Megan is the dead truck driver’s daughter who feels guilty that her poor father was working long hours to pay her tuition (i.e. the same truck driver involved in Dixon’s accident). Now Dixon is angry that he can’t even place blame on the nameless truck driver and he storms/wheels off. Annie and Riley search all over town and eventually find Dixon at the beach. Riley offers a heaping dose of tough reality to Dixon and tells him he needs to fight for his future. He finally has the breakthrough Annie wants him to have and even has Liam help him body surf, while Annie learns to accept Riley’s approach because he explains that he too was in a bad car accident that resulted in his fiancé leaving him. Dixon even returns to group therapy and buddies up with Megan. Now it is only a matter of time before Dixon and Megan get close and Dixon’s secret connection to her father’s accident comes between them.
When the nerd is away, the arcades they will play. Naomi is still [freakishly] obsessed with getting Max’s business partner, Alec, to like her. With Max traveling, Naomi makes it this week’s mission to force Alec to spend time with her. She tricks him onto a yacht and makes it oh-so-difficult for him to escape, what with the boat sailing all of 3 feet from shore. But the two seem to bond suspiciously fast over shared childhood memories on the pier eating ice cream. I pretty much figured that Alec was up to something, but Naomi did not (and she should be better than that!). They head to the pier for some childlike fun and have a blast—Alec even wins the coveted silver unicorn prize for her! But then he reaches over and kisses her. Naomi puts an immediate stop to it and runs off. While she wants to ignore it, her friends encourage her to be truthful with Max before it comes back to bite her. She agrees and decides to be brave like Dixon, so she goes to confront Alec and tell him that she plans to tell Max. Too bad for Naomi that she has finally met her match, and I don’t mean Max. Alec is as good a schemer as Naomi usually is, so we learn that he paid a photographer to take incriminating photos of their fun-filled day at the pier.
Game over? Liam seems to have no trouble jumping right into his new gig starring in the video game after last week’s deadly(?) fall by Vanessa. I assumed that Liam would have used his downtime between filming to concoct a good cover story, but that would be giving him a bit too much credit. A police detective stops by the burned out bar (where are Navid and Taylor!?) and questions Liam about Vanessa’s whereabouts. Liam does offer some kernels of truth—like the fact that Vanessa lied about their engagement and that he hasn’t seen her since the day of the party—but it doesn’t do much to help his case. He happens to drop the lovely story of how they first met when Vanessa crashed her car into him (oh yeah, I forgot about that!). Liam is more annoyed than anything when he learns that his contract cannot be broken unless it is proven to be fraud or Vanessa is “hit by a bus.” Ha. Falling off a balcony will probably do. But he does grow a little concerned when Annie’s lawyer tells him that not helping a victim could lead to a manslaughter conviction. Liam finally grows a pair and marches into the police station to confess what he knows—spurred by Dixon’s bravery—but then changes his mind when the police inform him they know about Vanessa’s many fraudulent identities. Yep, they think she has fled the country and Liam can now get out of his contract. Case closed…for now. I am sure this will haunt Liam again soon.
In closing, I just want to give a shout out to 90210 for daring to reference educational institutions. Is it official that school is just not something any of these kids are pursuing? Not only did we get a glimpse of CU (where Liam met with the lawyer and Dixon attended therapy…um right in the middle of the student union?) but the gang even attended West Bev’s surfing competition for old times’ sake! First, I love how no one even mentioned former bestie Ivy, who was the ultimate surfer girl. Second, I love how they all wished they could be young, free and hopeful again like in high school! Ummmm from what I recall of their high school experience, they dealt with such happy tidings as running over a homeless man, suffering from bipolar disorder and let’s not forget teen pregnancy. Ah yes, much simpler times.