Season 8, Episode 2
Here we are, in How I Met Your Mother’s eighth season, and we experienced something we have never witnessed before on our beloved HIMYM: Future Ted actually said “I don’t have any good stories.” Yup, the summer of 2012 was a summer of love for all and therefore he apparently had no crazy tales to share. His [now elderly] kids must have fallen off the sofa. But don’t worry kiddos, because October marks the beginning of “The Autumn of Break-Ups” [cue the doomsday music]. We can count on Ted for plenty more stories about this gang…
A Pre-Nup for the Ages
Future Ted begins tonight’s story by telling us that one of the four happy couples—Ted and Victoria, Robin and Nick, Barney and Quinn, Marshall and Lily—would be broken up by the next day. OK, yeah, no one thought Marshall and Lily. But everyone else was technically fair game. And it all started with a pre-nup to end all pre-nups.
Barney’s lawyer co-worker–who was screwed over (and out of a kidney!) by his own ex-wife—encourages him to draft one for Quinn. Since this is Barney, I don’t even have to go into all the details and throw-away jokes for you to imagine the kinds of ‘marriage rules’ included. I am only surprised that Quinn is surprised. Let’s just say that Barney wants weekly visitation with “the girls” [Anne, Sara and Molly to be exact] and these girls are not their future children but Quinn’s lady parts. As Quinn rightly vents her disgusted reaction to the girls, Barney is angry that Quinn bothered reading the thing. While all parties agree that Barney went “a unicorn whisper too far” [and then some], the idea of renegotiating a partner’s behavior leads to some bedtime fighting among all the couples.
From Pillow Fighting to Real Fighting
Marshall and Lily fight over Marshall being a tad too rough with newborn Marvin, but Marshall was just showing love Minnesota-style. Ted is pissed that Victoria’s ex, Klaus, has overstayed his welcome as a temporary roommate, even though Ted himself invited him! I have to say, sometimes Ted’s ‘good guy’ ways are so dumb that you can’t feel bad for him—i.e. never invite your girlfriend’s ex-fiance to live with you, even if he is down on his luck. But I will also say that this awkward and inappropriate three’s company of Ted + Victoria + the nude-loving Klaus was a funny gag throughout the episode, especially Klaus’ love of a German sitcom about a cleanly guy and his even more cleanly roommate. Finally, in my favorite running joke of the night, Nick was pissed that Robin needed another 42” at night to turn her on—and take your mind out of the gutter, because she needs her flatscreen TV. In a hilarious twist, Robin is not watching the Daily Show [swoon Jon Stewart] but her own re-broadcast of the news. You see, 7pm Anchorwoman Robin Scherbatsky winks at future bedtime Robin.
All of these grievances quickly escalate the next day, when Quinn has a plan to counteract Barney’s pre-nup. With the help of the other ladies [and some seriously good typing skills], she drafts her own equally lengthy “pretty standard” document to dig into Barney’s behaviors. My favorite? Quinn demanding that she get to keep all his suits and, when asked what she would do with them, “Nothing. I would just sit around with them and watch them go out of style.” Cold—I love it. Ironically, Quinn’s ability to craft an equally devious pre-nup is further proof of how well “suited” [ha, get it] these two are; which makes it all the more sad that a perfect fit is not always perfect for you.
A full-blown couples smack-down occurs in the office when the guys arrive to back-up their pal. Each couple launches into their respective fights. Of course Marshall and Lily make up right away, as soon as they each admit their own parenting vulnerabilities. And Robin and Nick race off to really make up when Robin admits that her own image on TV turns her on. So that leaves two couples. Even though Ted and Victoria are totally doomed as well, the couple quickly [too quickly!] voice their fears about how their relationship is rooted in a bad place…buuuuut, it looks like Ted, Victoria and her new, cute short haircut live to see another day. And that leaves…
Barney and Quinn. Sadly, they are both so alike that in this case it works against them. Their similar mindset and provocative ways means that neither fully trusts the other, and that certainly will not lead to a good marriage. I, for one, am bummed to see this relationship end, even though we knew it was coming, because Quinn really was Barney’s equal. But it seems Barney needs someone—like Robin—who will actually ‘uneven’ the playing field. Someone who makes him realize that single life isn’t legendary, without her. And his future wedding will be legendary, without a pre-nup.
So, one break-up down and two more to go…at some point. I am along for the ride as always, because as a wise Ted told Klaus about his kooky German sitcom: “It’s big comedy, but you also really care about these characters.” Wink wink.