Season 4, Episode 22
Lots of soap-opera drama on tonight’s new 90210 called “’Tis Pity.” Seriously, in one hour we were treated to a movie premiere, a pregnancy scare, a physical fight, a mental institution, an arrest, a country performance, a sex scene with a wannabe priest, and the return of an ex-boyfriend. No wonder these kids are not seen at CU anymore—who has the time for school!?
- Can’t Buy Me Love: Naomi is still reeling over ending her engagement with PJ due to the fact that he loved his inheritance more than her. It’s hard to feel anything for this storyline since she had only started dating PJ a few weeks prior, but because this is 90210, Naomi faces one reminder after another of her lost love. She gets a gig planning the wedding of a wealthy heiress named Madison, who is super happy with “a great guy.” Despite the fact that Madison looks all of 15 years old, she and Naomi hit it off and Naomi works wonders planning this girl’s dream wedding—mostly because she uses wedding ideas from her own failed nuptials. Naomi finally reaches her breaking point when Madison innocently shows her a newspaper clipping of a recent wedding…and the groom is none other than PJ! Naomi is astonished and angry that her fiancé of last week is already married this week. Meanwhile, I was astonished that a young girl like Madison even knew what a newspaper was and actually clipped an article! What, she doesn’t read her news on Facebook?! Anyways, Naomi gets a little nutty sipping wine in her wedding dress (in a pool) and railing on love to anyone who will listen. Until she realizes that true love does exist—it was only PJ who was the bad apple. She arrives at Madison’s mansion to apologize and get back to planning. Just then Madison’s fiancé arrives and it is none other than…Max! Nerdy Max was the one good guy who truly loved Naomi. And now she is planning his wedding to Madison.
- Love is the Pits: Annie is still hot for priest-hopeful Caleb, but the two are trying to keep things PG as he thinks about what he really wants. Obviously if he and Annie continue their relationship, then priesthood can’t exactly be his future career path. Fortunately for us, this lovesick duo provided the funniest (read: lamest) metaphor from a scripted show in recent memory. As they were on a platonic date to the La Brea Tar Pits, they looked longingly at the mammoths and discussed how the ancient beasts wanted that liquid so badly they didn’t care about the consequences. In case you cannot follow this oh-so-subtle poetic declaration of forbidden desire, Annie and Caleb want each other badly and do not care about the consequences. A nun (in full habit no less) interrupts their lustful moment, but don’t worry—they get it on later when Caleb stops by the house. He and Annie sleep together and he tells her that he will never regret this decision to pick her over his lifelong dream. Mere moments later, Caleb overhears a conversation that may make him eat his words.
- Achy Breaky Ade: Adrianna moves forward with Austin as her manager in the country music world. His first act? Convince his famous country singer father, Judd Ridge (i.e. Billy Ray Cyrus) to have Ade perform in his show. I didn’t quite follow if Ade and Austin actually went to Nashville for the world’s quickest visit, but it doesn’t matter. Ade panicked about her performance and then got pissed off at Austin when he made it seem like he only cared about the impression he makes on his dad and not Ade’s actual career. So obviously Ade bails on the performance like the true professional that she is and sulks off declaring Austin to be a bad person. She even throws fuel on the fire by telling him that he is a horrible person for framing Dixon for that sorority house fire a while back, not knowing that Austin actually covered the dubious behaviors of Dixon and Annie last semester. This leads Austin to march over to Annie’s pad and demand she tell Ade the truth about what really happened with the fire and the prostitution ring. This is all Caleb needs to overhear: the girl he just slept with rather than become a priest was a prostitute for a while.
- Lights, Camera, Fight! Silver is still determined to make a relationship with Navid work out, for reasons I still can’t quite grasp. He was gone and she moved on. She likes Liam and he likes her. I am not getting what Silver’s problem is. Anyways, Navid is now Silver’s doting boyfriend and support system again, so he goes with Silver to her first mammogram after learning she has the breast cancer gene. At this appointment, Silver realizes she may be pregnant while Navid blabbers on like an idiot to the nurse. Since Navid knows this possible baby could not be his, he wisely names himself “most likely to raise a stranger’s baby” considering his track record with Ade back in high school and now this situation. Navid also lets the possibility slip to Liam, since they are bros and Navid has no clue Liam is the potential baby-daddy. Of course the confusion and emotions spiral out of control very quickly at Liam’s movie premiere. With cameras flashing, the boys come to blows when Navid puts two and two together. Even though Silver learns she is not in fact pregnant, the cat is out of the bag on this love-triangle.
- Make a Run for It: Ivy is still in a mental institution ever since Caleb reported her to social services for being a danger to herself. Maybe he should get Annie sent away next week and do us all a public service? Ivy is not happy about being there, but mainly she is still angry about Raj’s death. She can’t bring herself to talk to anyone—not even her friends—because they can’t possibly understand what she is feeling. That’s when street artist Diego pops up again looking for his surfer gal. He springs her from the facility and gets her to open up by painting wall art about Rag to release her feelings. It helps her, but their actions end up hurting him! Some cops happen to come by the alley and Diego quietly tells Ivy that he is an illegal immigrant. Busting Ivy out of the institution is considered a felony—and Diego could be deported. And so, with that, he makes a run for it!
What was your favorite part of the drama tonight? Are you happy to see Max back? Are you happy to see Diego gone? And will Dixon ever return from his tour?