Season 4, Episode 17
Babes in Toyland
And it’s back! Tonight was 90210’s first new episode in a few weeks and it did not disappoint in the absurdity department. We were also treated to the official return of Jenn—Naomi’s shallow sister—who appeared briefly at the end of the previous episode. It is an understatement to say that Jenn can be a grating character, but I think this show finally figured out how to use her as that character you love to hate. Now if only they could make Annie tolerable we would be in business!
- Dress for the job you want: If you take that old saying literally, you might end up in a dominatrix outfit like Naomi, being arrested in a sex xhop. But let’s backtrack a little to explain how Naomi ended up in her predicament. Jenn was back with baby Jacques—still a self-absorbed mother and wealthy husband-hunter. She was, however, slightly softer and more tolerant of others in that she no longer despised tourists because they make her feel thin. Naomi was determined to impress her successful older sis with her business skills (I am still not sure how Jenn is a model of success when the woman has not done anything to actually earn her money). When Naomi sets up a meeting with a handsome and lucrative new client, she must come up with an impressive office space stat. After making up an address on the spot, she finds that the location is a sex shop. Walking in with Annie, you would think they were prudes who had never seen lingerie. After they finish sticking their noses up at a store that sells more clothes than they usually wear, Naomi somehow convinces the manager to let her buy out the merchandise and “rent” the workers as employees so it looks like she has her event planning business set up there. In the world’s quickest office makeover that would even make decorating shows on TLC look time consuming, Naomi is ready for her two-minute meeting. Jeesh all that effort for mere minutes with a client—I would have at least demanded he drink some coffee. It seems that this exec is happy to flirt with Jenn and hand Naomi the job. Jenn is also happy to work her magic and nab a successful dude to form a “perfect” little family unit. It’s not until Naomi must sneak back into the store (and don a dominatrix outfit) to find the guy’s wallet that she discovers he is married. Jenn’s hopes may be dashed, but she decides to throw her sister some support in the form of blackmailing the exec into keeping Naomi as his event planner. Maybe Jenn isn’t so bad to have around after all? Also, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: 90210 finds excuses to put Naomi in outlandish skimpy costumes every. single. week.
- Money bags: Annie begins to spend more time with Preston Hollingsworth, he who “hosted” the charity event that Annie botched with her naïve enthusiasm. And by spend time, I mean harass. Seriously, Annie can get in and out of his palatial mansion with more ease than I can get into my apartment. I guess he doesn’t waste money on security, or a gate. Anyways, Annie has made it her mission to get him to take his wealth seriously and use it for a higher purpose. Why on earth Annie has to get him to care is beyond me—she has enough inheritance money to do her own charitable cause without anyone else. Preston doesn’t go for Annie’s charity designer tote bag line at first, but he does want her to live a little with her money to prove she can be one with the wealthy lifestyle (yeah, just go with it). He has her pick an impulse buy in an expensive store without looking at the price. But then he pays for it—and she learns it is a $40,000 purse. For the first time in her life, Annie shows some common sense and returns the purchase. She also gives Preston quite a speech about doing something positive with his money and earning it. He admits that he once tried to start a magazine and it failed, so apparently that was the end of his efforts. I guess having a “plucky and annoying” partner like Annie gives him a refreshed perspective on the world so he agrees to give Annie’s charitable business plan a shot. Looks like he might also gain another kind of partner through Annie, as he and Naomi have quite a love-at-first-sight meeting.
- Show Business Remix: Our aspiring music moguls Dix and Ade are pumped to have a meeting with a movie producer who is considering their track for an upcoming film (sure). A conniving Vanessa overhears Dixon talking about the producer recasting a part and immediately sees it as an opportunity for Liam—and herself—because they are both tired of him auditioning for nameless roles like “hot guy.” Therefore, what’s a good girlfriend to do other than sabotage Liam’s friends’ meeting? Vanessa schedules them at a fake meeting elsewhere, while showing up to the site of their real meeting and turning on the charms to the producer. The whole thing was creepy—and it definitely left me wondering what exactly Vanessa did to “convince” the producer to hire Liam (well, I think we can all use our imaginations). The scheme seemed very Valerie Malone-vixen to me. Dixon and Ade are bummed that their prospects were dashed, but their relationship is, like, tighter than evah, yo. Too bad Ade quit her job at Liam’s bar to make time for the meeting that never happened. Wah wah. But, Ade does learn a little tidbit from her former boss—that Vanessa “bumped” into the producer. Let’s see how long it takes Ade to put the pieces together.
- Live out loud: I am not going to give much effort to covering Silver or Ivy’s stories tonight, because the 90210 writers certainly didn’t. Silver tries to decide if she is ready to attend NYU now that she gets word she is accepted. OK, I am super confused—I can’t keep track of these “Am I admitted/Am I going to college?” story lines anymore because there have been too many that have gone nowhere. At this point I can’t remember why Silver was not enrolled in college last semester, when she applied to NYU, how she can get in mid-semester or numerous other details that don’t make sense. But now that Navid is gone and she is not dating anyone else, Silver is bored—so why not go to college? Except that her doctor freaks her out with talk of being tested for the breast cancer gene. 90210—please do not use the Jackie Taylor (or any other original character) name for your show. You burned too many bridges and took too many liberties destroying former characters, so I have only been able to keep watching this show by pretending that those spin-off stories never actually happened. Anyways, because Silver cannot leave the show, it was newly employed actor Liam who convinced Silver to follow her dreams and live life to fullest. In 90210 land, that means taking a job as a P.A. on Liam’s movie set. As for Ivy, here is one sentence: that new artist guy [whom I shall call Raj 2.0] wanted her to live a little and do “dangerous” street art, and Ivy eventually thought it was pretty cool.
So, what did you think of 90210’s triumphant return tonight? And Jenn’s big return? How long do you think it will be before Vanessa is exposed for being two-faced? And is Navid gone for good? Or will he flunk out or miss Silver, or something lame? I do want to give the show credit for its little shout-out to Shirazi Porn Studios while in the sex shop. Way to keep Navid alive in spirit!