Season 4, Episode 16
No Good Deed
Before I swan dive, Liam-style, into tonight’s episode “No Good Deed,” I would like to take a moment to give a shout out to the new voiceover the show is using for its promos. I love the guy telling us to watch next week and “not be a Dix”—that’s how you know this show doesn’t take itself seriously. 90210 can laugh at itself, which is why we can all laugh along each week and I can enjoy writing these posts. On that note, recent events on the series have inspired me to write this helpful little manual for an high school students out there…
The 90210 Guide to Applying to College:
Step 1: Decide what college you want to attend. Note: your low GPA or lack of extracurricular activities doesn’t matter; Ivy League schools will accept you no matter what.
Step 2: Receive your thick admitted envelop in the mail instantaneously and carry it around to show people that you got in.
Step 3: Figure out when it is convenient for you to arrive on campus. Note: the traditional ‘beginning of the semester’ is super lame. Why not be a trendsetter and start halfway through the term?
Step 4: Book a last minute flight and be prepared to move your entire life across the country in just a few days.
Step 5: Decide to back out when you get to the airport because you would totally miss the guy or girl with whom you have a failed relationship.
OK, now that we have learned some valuable life lessons courtesy of 90210, let’s move on to all the action tonight.
- Party Down: Naomi is desperate for professional clients to prove she is an A-list event planner, because throwing parties for yourself does not a portfolio make. She can’t even convince the owner of a Cuban restaurant to throw a 1950s beach party, “before that crazy guy messed things up.” Then Naomi remembers that Holly gave her the contact info for that drunk celeb Mitchell Nash—he who puked on the red carpet. He’ll do for reputable business. She tracks him down sitting in a hotel pool in his clothes and he actually agrees to let her throw his estranged daughter’s Sweet Sixteen. Naomi isn’t thrilled with this opportunity, but she is promised future business if the event is a hit. Too bad for her that Mitchell’s teen, Carla, likes to sulk and secretly doesn’t have any friends in town. Never fear—Naomi knows exactly how to make friends—throw a kick-ass party and invite the whole school. Naomi should know, since she only finished high school herself last year. She seems to think she a far cry from the young and rebellious teens that trash her mansion and the newly matured Naomi puts a stop to party shenanigans very quickly. I will give her major points for actually giving Carla and her Hollywood dad a stern speech about acting their ages and having a real parent-child relationship—and it even earns her Mitchell’s respect and future business.
- Boyz II Men: In couples and would-be couples news, the boys have trouble acting like mature men and expressing their feelings. Dixon is busy with his music, as always, but he has clearly found renewed focus post-rehab. He is so intense that he fails to notice Ade strut around the house mid-afternoon in lingerie. Ade, like most of the girls on this show, is ridiculously insecure and feels like Dixon doesn’t love her. Meanwhile, Silver can’t even handle being single for one episode. She claimed to be ready to move to NYC with her boyfriend Greg last week, and now that he dumped her for being dishonest about Maizy, she feels the sudden urge to reconcile with Navid. But, Navid has his own news—he has decided to attend Princeton and leave…in just a few days! The problem is that neither Silver nor Navid wants to be the one to speak up first. Silver and Navid do help their friends reconcile, however, especially when Navid alerts Dixon to the fact that you really shouldn’t ask your girlfriend to move in with you simply for convenience. First, I love how Dixon is really asking Ade to move into Austin’s beach house—Austin who is maybe even possibly in jail for taking the rap on the fire he didn’t cause—which is ridic because I am pretty sure Dixon’s music career doesn’t cover rent. Second, it’s clear that Dixon didn’t learn fire safety after last week’s debacle because he lit about a hundred candles to set the mood for his romantic make-up gesture. Was I the only one hoping that Dixon was going to perform a new song that he created for Ade—I would love to hear DJ Dix do a remix of David Silver’s infamous “You’re So Precious to Me” (I am being totally serious, I would really love to hear that). Ultimately, Dixon’s declaration of love led to Ade agreeing to move in; while Silver and Navid’s lack of communication led to him getting a taxi. Ahhh, nothing says, “I’m off to college” like a taxi pick up at your family’s porn studio warehouse.
- Starry Night: Annie is a freaking idiot. I know, I know…I sound like a broken record because I think I write some form of that sentiment every week. Funnily enough, just the other week I said that some of the characters on this show really needed to get a hobby—especially Annie, who was doing nothing but stalking people. It seems the 90210 writing gods heard my prayers, because this week she too decided she needed a passion. Hmmmm some people go to college at your age to discover a purpose or passion. But some people aren’t Annie. She decides that picking a random charity and agreeing to coordinate an event does a body good. That’s all fine—I won’t knock charity work—but Annie’s idea of being a do-gooder involved getting “celeb” Liam to attend the fundraiser event and having Ivy donate one of her crappy photos to the auction. The charity event also proved the perfect opportunity for Liam to be one of those celebs that cares about the earth. Liam was in need of some good PR after Vanessa tried to catapult him into stardom and he failed miserably on a talk show cooking segment. That little vixen arranged for a woman to fake-drown in the marina and genuinely helpful Liam jumped in to save her. Meanwhile, Annie drowned in her own PR disaster by agreeing to do a TV interview on behalf of the Hollingsworth Foundation’s reclusive president and got completely ambushed. Oh Annie, you just failed PR 101. The mysterious bartender who overheard Annie’s verbal vomit turned out to be none other than President Hollingsworth himself! And for some reason he seems amused by her antics the next day at the marina. Oh lord, it seems the only hobby Annie is capable of is picking wealthy men to fund her absurd lifestyle.
- Tag, You’re It: When I asked for Ivy to get a plot line, this is not what I meant. Just as Annie seems destined to meet rich older men that she services, Ivy seems destined to pick up her men at the skater park on the beach [see: ex-hubby Raj]. And I actually got excited that Raj himself would be there or somehow involved with that group of guys who dissed Ivy’s “art.” But no, instead she met a new dude who likes to do graffiti art because it gets people to really “think.” Well, he certainly made Ivy think after he broke into the gallery and destroyed her photographic display. But to my surprise Ivy fell for the guy and showed up to his artist warehouse to tag with him.
Whew—it was quite an eventful night! It looks like we will have to wait until March 6 for the next new episode…and the return of Naomi’s sister Jenn! She briefly appeared with baby Jacques in the last moment, and I am personally excited for this piece of work to stir up trouble and make snide quips. Until then, folks!