Season 3, Episode 7
The extended family tree built all sorts of comedy in tonight’s “Treehouse.” Once again, there were so many instant classic lines that I find it to be a struggle to write this recap—I may as well just post the entire script. But here is my attempt to do this episode justice.
The Dunphy household was busy with backyard construction projects and a frustrating college essay. All that was missing were some snarky quips from Alex, who was absent again (tear, love her). Phil is determined to build his son a wonderful treehouse so that he can make neighborhood friends, but Luke is not into it. Phil eventually realizes that he is really building the treehouse for himself, since it brings back such fond memories of his own childhood days of hanging out with his neighborhood pals. But that’s just not the way the kiddos make friends anymore…or is it?! Luke may have abandoned the project (from fear of injury) but Phil meets a neighborhood buddy of his own. My one complaint? It seemed very out-of-character for Luke to dismiss this father-son physical activity—he is always all about exploring and engaging in crazy projects with his awesome dad.
- “Wife gets in the way” (Sometimes Phil slips up)
- “America was built with nails, son!” (Phil); “So was that gazebo you built for the 4th of July party” (Luke, uneasy about his dad’s construction skills)
- “Plus he’s a bad-ass black friend who gives me extra street cred” (Phil’s excitement over his new neighborhood pal)
Meanwhile, Hayley and Claire clash over the obstacles—or lack thereof—that Hayley never had to overcome thanks to her sheltered life. Why is this a bad thing? Because colleges want to hear about strife and difficult circumstances that make you unique. Claire takes matters into her own hands by luring Hayley into the car for a little ride into the nearby hills, then ditching her there without a phone or money to get herself home. Pretty unorthodox and risky method, Claire, but hilarious nonetheless! The result is just as funny, as Hayley returns home looking like she just stepped off the set of the Hunger Games. A part of me wanted to see some of Hayley’s adventure home—but it was also really effective to just have her arrive pissed off. The two continue their mother-daughter feud as Hayley screams out that her real obstacle is living with a crazy mother! Be sure to spell check that, OK?
- “Didn’t my third grade teacher say I had, like, ADD or something?” (Hayley); “No honey, she said you couldn’t A-D-D….she put it that way because she also knew you couldn’t S-P-E-L-L (Claire)
- “Dear college, cheese makes me gassy! See you in September” (Hayley); “Sweetie, you’re not really starting your essay with ‘dear college,’ are you?” (Claire)
- “Gabby’s mom is a hoarder, that essay practically writes itself.” (Hayley)
Jay and Gloria are busy with their own clash of obstacles—whether or not Jay will cave and take Gloria to a salsa club. Jay’s friend Shorty and his ‘woman’ have many exciting dates, which gets Gloria thinking. Jay is not a confident dancer—but Manny comes to the rescue with his “Just Dance” game. When that fails, Mitch comes to the rescue with a little pill that will relieve Jay of his inhibitions. Was I the only one who thought Mitchell was offering his dad a Roofie? Nah, Mitch claims it is just a little anti-anxiety pill…which Jay ultimately takes to surprise Gloria at the club. Turns out that Jay only needed to think he had courage, because the pill was just a baby aspirin.
- “Cirque de Soleil is like a circus that is classy…so if you like elephants, don’t hold your breath” (Shorty’s classy lady love)
- “Forbidden dance floor—only makes me want it more” (Manny upset that Gloria is going salsa dancing without him).
- “You’re dancing, not invading Poland” (Manny’s helpful tutorial…just as Mitchell opens the door and walks back outside in shock).
My favorite story of the night belonged to the gays! Or, errr, Cam pretending to be straight to win a bet, but getting more than he bargained for. I loved everything about Cam trying to be straight—messing his hair, sticking to his story about having chemistry with Julia Roberts, using a lame pick-up technique on a woman at the bar, etc. That woman was none other than Leslie Mann—and she and Cam totally hit it off and exchanged numbers. Cam won the bet, but he didn’t bet on feeling guilty the next morning for ‘misleading’ Katie. As Mitch teased him, Cam actually called Katie, but ended up inviting her over, which led to an even more hilarious conversation as he tried to break the news he is actually gay. Of course she knew—obviously!—but she really wanted a gay BFF. Katie was such a good sport that she even played along as a scorned woman when Mitchell returned. I want Leslie Mann to stick around as a friend of Cam’s!
- “Are you sure you’re gay?” (Katie after their ‘fake’ kiss); “No” (Cam)…”Cam?” (Mitch)… “Yes” (Cam)
- And my favorite line of the night: “The Gift of the Vagi!” (Cam’s clever spin on how he can only see to be so smooth and flirty with women, and not hot men).
Which moments really hit the nail on the head for you?