Tis the season for 9-0-2-1-Oh-my-god cliffhangers. Ade’s fame is ready to crash and burn; Navid and Silver finally kiss; Dixon catches Teddy and Ian making out; Annie and Liam sleep together; and Mr. Cannon is baaaaack for Naomi! We also got some great visual scenes of yeast infection phone calls, ice skating in mini skirts, prime rib discussion, piñata bashing and partying with midget elves. I hope that is enough to tide us all over til the New Year because it seems we won’t get a new episode until January 24!
- Ade, and her little dog too: First of all, I didn’t think it was possible for a house to have bigger doors than Navid’s, but Ade found it. This “house” also came with a six-month lease at $20K per month. I’m sorry, you have one supposedly hit single and you can afford a castle? You knew she was headed for trouble when Victor was the rational one telling her not to throw money away. Ade retaliates by being a royal bi-otch to him (and basically everyone…except to her pooch Beyonce) and she cuts his commission even further. When Victor shows up the world’s strangest three-way sleepover with a cheesy apology gift (a wet blanket—ha!), she dismisses him cruelly (way harsh, Tai!). In the middle of her ridiculously self-centered and over-the-top holiday party, Ade finally starts to get what’s coming to her—Victor drops the bomb that he has gone to the tabloids with the info that she stole Javier’s songs. I am beyond excited to see Ade’s ego get cut down to size! Happy holidays, Adrianna Grave Robber!
- Silver and Navid kiss (and not under the mistletoe): Navid continues to struggle with his growing feelings for Silver, while the rest of us scream at our TVs for him to grow some balls already and break up with Adrianna the Shrew. Silver does her best to deny her feelings by getting a new pixie haircut (which is actually a major improvement over her Flock of Seagulls look). After a few close calls, including a highly awkward three-way sleepover with Silver, Navid and Ade at the castle (and Ade interrupting them with her nightmare about Miley Cyrus), Silver finally gives in to her feelings after the party. Navid and Silver kiss just as Ade is learning of Victor’s treachery! Looks like Ade is going to have a tough start to the New Year.
- Teddy and Ian are a closeted item! Teddy expresses his feelings for Ian, but he is also not ready to come out of the closet just yet. I have said it before, but they are handling this storyline very well this season….taking the time to develop the realization in Teddy. He is now able to admit to Ian that he likes him and wants to be with him, but it does make sense he is not yet ready for everyone else to know. He needs to process his sexuality before the world does. Well, that time may come sooner than he hopes, since Dixon sees them kissing at the party.
- Annie takes bedside manner to a whole new level: Dixon and Annie let a wounded Liam (recall he was severely beaten by that girl Laura’s ex last week) stay at their home to recover (where was Mama Wilson? Probably getting busy with Ryan in more public restrooms). Annie, who moments earlier was infatuated with Liam’s half-brother Charlie, all of a sudden feels drawn to Liam again and misses out on the party to tend to him. Despite the fact that Annie and Liam have barely had a single scene together since the beginning of the season, apparently both have been pining for the other. Annie watches Liam sleep (a little disturbing) and then wakes him up. Liam expresses his love for her and they sleep together. Nurse Annie sure knows how to make a dude feel better.
- Hos before bros: Naomi and Ivy are really cherishing their odd-couple/opposites-attract friendship. Naomi even wants to introduce her new bff to girlie things like cocktail waxing sessions. The only thing threatening their new friendship is Oscar—Naomi is attracted to him and thinks he has changed, while Ivy still thinks he is a jerk for what he did to her. Ivy also struggles with reconnecting with her dad and eventually learns he was only interested in playing doting father to get out of paying for her college education. When Naomi actually does a selfless good deed by helping Ivy and her mom make-up, Ivy decides that their friendship is strong enough to withstand Naomi dating Oscar. In a surprisingly mature move, Naomi decides to let Oscar down gently because she values her friendship with Ivy that much. Unfortunately for Naomi, she is about to have a major problem on her hands when she enters her apartment/hotel and Cannon is lurking inside. Awesome cliffhanger—I KNEW he would be back after fleeing from the police.
There were plenty of amusing moments, mostly belonging to Adrianna, that I didn’t cover here. From her snide “return pile” response to gifts, to her explanation about the origins of holidays (“we got the word Christ from Christmas”), she needs to be knocked down hard. It looks like that Christmas wish will become reality, given Victor’s vengeful actions. Ho ho ho and ha ha ha, santa baby!