I have learned many things over the years since being introduced to one of TV’s greatest character alter-egos, Robin Sparkles. There was the importance of going to the mall TODAY; there was the frailty of summer love being washed away like a sandcastle in the sand; and tonight we learned that “two beavers are better than one and twice the fun!” Needless to say, I had been looking forward to this episode since I heard many months ago we were going to be treated to the third installment of Robin Sparkles. The result? While not the same level of classic Robin Sparkles music (when you consider the amazing 80s artistry of the first two videos) this episode still brought tons of laughs (if you enjoy sexual innuendo like I do).
Barney had the Robin Sparkles prequel video on hand for a special occasion. That moment presented itself when Robin knocked Barney’s “Everyday Boutonnière by Stinson” idea to get laid (since, you know, there is an 83% correlation between times guys wear boutonnières and get laid). Then, she gave him the worst insult: suits are kind of boring without those little flowers. That was when Barney announced it was time for “Robin Sparkles III, y’all!” The entire gang was extremely excited to witness the original TV show from which the Robin Sparkles persona was born. It turned out to be a kid show about “two average Canadian teenagers who solve crimes in space using math.” In actuality, the sexual innuendo and camera work essentially made it child porn (at least to our dirty American minds!). Every time Robin shushed her friends while watching the tape and told them to get their minds out of the gutter, Robin Sparkles and sidekick Jessica Glitter entered a scenario that had them grabbing at a joystick while an excitable Alan Thick encouraged them or discussing their friendly beavers and love of wood (it is a common Canadian animal, of course!).
The gang also wondered whatever happened to Robin’s former BFF Jessica Glitter, and Ted’s math skills pointed toward the answer that Robin must have de-friended Jessica around the time Jessica had a baby five years ago. This got Lily worried that her own friendship with Robin would end when Lily had a baby. Lily could only think of babies, babies and more babies in this episode and I for one was as equally annoyed as Robin was with Lily’s behavior. Don’t get me wrong–Lily had some great lines turning everyday normal conversations into talk of cervical mucus and fetuses, and it definitely made sense that Lily would behave this way. But to her friends (especially Robin) this incessant baby talk was beyond obnoxious, especially considering, as Robin eloquently and technically pointed out, “the fertilized egg has not yet attached to your uterine lining”…in other words—chill out, Lily, you are not preggo yet! Lily and Robin got into a fight (was this the first truly legitimate fight these two have had in all these years?) and Marshall tracked down Jessica Glitter so that Lily could gain better perspective. And that is when we learned that Robin was not the one who ended that friendship—it was Robin who was hurt when Jessica could no longer make being a friend her priority after the birth of her baby. Lily went to find her bestie Robin—at the Hoser Hut of course—and vowed to always cherish their friendship. Robin, for her part, told Lily that she doesn’t hate all babies, just most babies, and “I am going to love your baby so much…I will even pick it up and everything!”
The girls were not the only ones who considered the notion of lasting friendship over the years. Ted got a visit from his old high school buddy, Punchy (aka Adam Punchiarello). As you may recall, the last time we saw Punchy, it happened to be the last time we saw Robin Sparkles (nice symmetry HIMYM!). It was Sandcastles in the Sand, and the gang considered the idea of “revertigo,” which is basically the phenomenon of reverting back to your old behavior when in the presence of people from your past. Ted and his friend Punchy like to fake fight each other and talk like high school dudes rather than have serious conversations. In tonight’s episode, “Glitter,” their behavior was the same, yet underneath it all each one was worried for the other—thinking the other had made unfortunate choices when in fact they each enjoyed their current lifestyles. Punchy, in fact, is engaged and ended up asking Ted to be his best man. It was another nice moment of rekindled friendship…and more importantly, could Punchy’s wedding be THE wedding we saw in the season premiere where Ted meets his future wife?
Just a small sampling of some great sparkle and glitter from tonight’s episode:
- Did you know boutonnière is French for “booty is near?”
- Wayne, the camera guy of Robin’s “pornocopia” show, “did a good job considering he probably only used one hand!”
- Basically everyone’s priceless reactions watching Space Teens, including lines such as “Hey, Jessica, how’s your beaver today?”
- “What to Expect When You Are Expecting to Expect” –sadly, this is probably an actual book (or coming soon).
- Without taking a breath, Barney basically utters every “you’re off/fired/gone” line from every reality show ever made!
What did you think of Robin Sparkles III, the prequel? Did you also love how Hoser Hut has all of Robin’s songs available for karaoke?…and even better that every good Canadian in the bar knows all the words!