On tonight’s episode “How Much is that Liam in the Window” some parent(al) trap schemes take shape: Oscar finally enacting his revenge on Laurel by crushing her relationship with daughter Ivy; Liam being taken in by the mother of his schoolgirl crush; Adrianna continuing to fall down the rabbit hole of fame under the guidance of Javier’s uncle; and Jenn actually acting like a concerned parent to Naomi when she learns of the rape.
- Let’s start with what is perhaps my favorite development, if the ending we saw is permanent—ding dong Oscar is gone! Yes, after sleeping with young virginal Ivy—and confusing her emotions greatly when Dixon finally tells Ivy the truth about why he temporarily rejected her—Oscar is cold and calculating in spilling the beans to Ivy that he has also been sleeping with her mother, Laurel. Oscar knows that Laurel’s relationship with her daughter is the most important thing in the world to her (other than finding ridiculous new bands to discover) and so he takes great glee in destroying their special “surfer gal” bond. I loved when Laurel confronts Oscar about him telling Ivy and says, “How could you?” Um, Laurel—how could YOU!? Maybe you should ask yourself why you slept with this dude in the first place. Oscar now seems content to be on his merry way (please, please leave for good now) and Ivy is left to scream out: “Yes I am upset because my mother is a whore!” Kudos to Ivy for the best line of the night.
- Liam for sale: Well, just when you thought you had seen every potential reason for why a guy on 90210 would need to walk around shirtless, leave it to these writers to come up with a new scenario. Liam—who is still living in his car, ummm ok—takes a job as a shirtless store model. Literally, he stands shirtless in a store window. While I appreciated Navid and Dixon stopping by to make fun of this, that was where my amusement ended. First, who the heck is this obnoxious girl who has fallen for Liam? Is she the same girl who solicited Teddy a few episodes back? (Speaking of Teddy, why was he MIA tonight? Was it because Navid had lines tonight and they don’t have enough boy lines to go around?). Anyways, this new girl Laura has fixated her attention on Liam and actually called in her mommy to hire Liam as her own little pool boy. Yeeeeah, so now Liam is living in this woman’s pool house that comes with a built-in stalker. At least this girl can keep the even more annoying tween population at bay.
- Ade goes topless—but it’s OK because she gets an awesome magazine cover out of it: Javier’s creepy uncle continues to blackmail Adrianna and pushes her to do things she doesn’t want to, like take racy photos. For some reason Silver and Navid (or Norad, as Javier’s uncle refers to him) act like total groupies and follow Ade around like puppy dogs. I guess Silver is making some kind of documentary about….Ade’s rise to stardom? …Ade’s inability to complete a People crossword puzzle? Of course Silver leaves the microphones on when she and Navid leave the room, so later they hear the cold hard truth—Adrianna can’t sing (ha, I wish). No, they learn that she is being blackmailed and that is why she is engaging in such tawdry behavior. It was refreshing to see Adrianna just come out and confess the truth to Norad (i.e. Navid), but her resolve to come clean and get away from Uncle Creepy doesn’t last long—Ade is back on board as soon as he shows her that she has been named an “up and coming” musician (at this point, I had something up and coming from this storyline—chunks). I have a feeling her and Navid are not long for this world…and perhaps Silver and Navid will get together? Hey, it makes sense what with all those long nights at the Blaze.
- Rape unites a family: Shockingly, when Jenn overhears Naomi and Silver discussing Mr. Cannon, Jenn knows Naomi is telling the truth and her big sister/new mother instincts kick into high gear. I agree with Ryan—I would not want to mess with this woman…so it looks like one way or another, justice will be doled out in a forthcoming episode. It seems these two sisters are headed toward reconciliation, not only because Jenn is going to help Naomi and enlist her baby daddy Ryan to stand up for her, but because new baby Jacques/Jack is creating a new little family unit. I am actually wondering if Jenn was once raped herself, and that is why she seems especially upset that her sister must endure the same pain? As always, though, Jenn brings some great over-the-top comedic elements to the storyline. When Naomi brings a teddy bear as a gift for the baby, Jenn is convinced it has a nanny cam in it so that Naomi can spy on her. She rips the poor thing to shreds to no avail. Later, after reconciling with Naomi, she expresses her gratitude for the present, “Thank you for the teddy bear for Jacques. It is almost repaired…well, except for the one leg.”
In conclusion, I am not going to get too much into the Charlie-Annie story from tonight, because much like Naomi I asked myself “what is French for barf?” I also agreed with Annie’s self-assessment: “Do I give off some kind of pheromone that dark disturbed guys are drawn to?” Seriously, something is pretty twisted with Liam’s half brother Charlie—and the fact that he and Liam are scar brothers. What do you think is their dark secret from the past?